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Evan
Can Run
Evan’s parents looked forward to the birth of their third son just as millions of parents around the planet. They had hopes and dreams for his future and Evan’s dad, Tony was looking forward to the day he could say my “My three sons”. A little girl would have been nice, but three boys were just fine. The pregnancy was difficult for Evan’s mom but not particularly usual, so when she went into labor they were off to the hospital in happy expectation that they would leave with a happy, healthy bouncing baby boy.
It wasn’t long before it became apparent that something was horribly wrong, the doctor said the words placental abruption, oxygen deprivation, just words right, everything would be okay? The frustrated flurry of urgent activity in the delivery room did more to convey to Evan’s parents than words that all of their hopes for their child were being dashed like a piece of driftwood on the rocks by an unrelenting tide. The baby wasn’t breathing, his color an angry purple and his lifeless body was moved to a lit table as doctors worked to breath life into receptacle that seemed incapable of sustaining life. Minutes that felt like hours passed and finally the imperceptible movement of his chest told them that he had made a choice to live as his weak attempts at cries began to drift to the ears straining to hear anything, a positive sign that order had been restored to their world.
It is interesting that when people deliver bad news they cannot look the person in the eye. It as if they can’t bear to see the light of hope flicker and die. Evan had been deprived of oxygen too long he said. Evan’s dad just kept looking at the doctor with his head cocked to one side, he knew that the doctor was saying something important about his son, but the words just whirled about in his head failing to find a home. Brain damage, Cerebral Palsy, can’t swallow any meaningful hope of a quality of life. When the doctor finally looked at Evan’s dad in the eyes all he could see were clouds of confusion and Evan’s mom sat in stunned silence, each of them lost in their thoughts, trying desperately to reconcile what this man was saying with the excited emotions they experienced on the day they found out that they would have another child.
The time finally came to take Evan home from the hospital after hours of lessons on feeding him through the tube, massaging and exercising the taunt limbs and even infant CPR. Evan’s two older brothers were repeated cautioned to “be careful” with their new baby brother as they fawned over him once he was settled into their home. Days worn onto weeks and finally into years as Evan’s parents went though the daily routine of caring for a severely handicapped child. There were always medical emergencies and once Evan’s dad had to use the lesson in CPR to bring his son back from the brink of death. The constant strain began to erode the marriage as is often the case, but they had the shared responsibility of caring for their family to push aside the nagging thoughts of separation.
One spring morning shortly after Evan’s fourth birthday Evan’s dad went down the hall to Evan’s room just as he did everyday, to wake his son and get him ready for the day ahead. As soon as he entered the room he felt it, his stomach inexplicably tightened into a knot even before he gazed on his son’s lifeless body in the bed. His mind was already accessing the CPR training as he yelled for Evan’s mother. He wouldn’t accept anything less than success as he worked feverishly to free Evan’s now cold body from the bed clothes. By the time the paramedics arrived it had become abundantly clear that Evan’s infectious laughter would never again fill their home.
I was teaching a Reiki class that Sunday afternoon when Evan’s grief stricken grandmother called me with the news of Evan’s passing. She needed some reassurance that Evan was okay and being cared for on the other side. I closed my eyes and asked the angels to show me where Evan was and what he was doing. Tears streamed down my face as I described the scene unfolding before me. Evan was chasing a little white dog through group of ducks that scattered ahead of their approach. There was a beautiful lake with a forest in the background and a gorgeous cloudless sky. Seated in lawn chairs watching the joyous little boy were his aunts, uncles and great grandparent’s pointing and smiling. Why was I crying? Because Evan’s dad is my cousin and the Aunt and Uncle watching over him are my parents and the great grandmother is my grandmother. Grandmother stood and waved and said “we have him, he’s safe with us.” The vision faded away too soon, but it was so wonderful to see so many of my family members on the other side, but especially to see Evan whole and happy.
My aunt, Evan’s grandmother shared that the family’s little white dog had been hit by a car the week before and had preceded Evan in death. While I had no prior knowledge of the dog’s passing, it appears that he wanted to be there to welcome Evan to Heaven.
The weeks that followed Evan’s death were very difficult for Evan’s dad, he was guilt ridden over is inability to “save” his son and he loved that little boy so much that he couldn’t imagine how he could exist in a world without Evan. Worried over her husband’s state of mind Evan’s mom insisted that Tony see a doctor for his depression. Placed on anti-depressants his world became at least bearable. Mother’s Day was approaching and a trip to the mall would help fill a day that use to be filled with caring for Evan.
Wandering the mall his mind far away as he absent mindedly took in the sights and sounds of life happening around him, Evan’s dad heard the sound of a little boy’s laughter and the sound little tennis shoes running on the tile floor. He glanced around for the tike to whom the sounds emanated and failed to locate the source of the commotion. He shrugged off the thought thinking that the little boy must have ducked into one of the shops lining the hall. Tony headed to the card shop to pick out a card for his wife; he wanted to find something special as this had been a difficult few weeks for her as well.
Tony stood before the selection of Mother’s Day cards picking up and reading card after card unable to locate the perfect card that would express the words that he was unable to convey to his wife. Soon the giggling started again as he heard the words “This one daddy, this is the one I want for mommy.” Evan’s dad looked around for the little boy who wanted his father to purchase a card to give to his mother, but as his eyes scanned the area he failed to find the owner of the pleading voice. The hair on the back of his neck began to stand up as the voice said more urgently, “Daddy, I have to get this card for mommy!” Thinking that he was probably having a breakdown Tony picked up one card after another as the voice directed “no not that one” until he picked up the “right” card and voice responded, “yes, that’s it, that’s the card I want to give to mommy!” The card the little voice wanted was a small white card just with an Otter on it; on the inside it read "Thank You For the Memories". A lump immediately formed in his throat and the emotion threatened to over take him. In a daze Tony preceded to the register to purchase the card all the while the little voice chattered happily away.
Evan’s dad did not immediately associate the voice of the little boy with his son despite the fact he used terms like mommy and daddy. Evan never walked much less ran while his was on the earth. Evan never talked, he never tasted food and he never played as little boys do, but he could laugh. It always started with a giggle and then it grew into laughter that would fill the entire room. This little apparition was not a welcome visitor in Tony’s world because he signaled the fact that Evan’s dad had slipped off the deep end of the pool and was now drowning in the abyss of insanity.
Understand that ninety percent of the Universe exists beyond our physical senses and periods of great stress push against the self imposed boundaries and things like prescription drugs inhibit our ability to keep the doors closed on the parts of the universe that are beyond our ability to comprehend. Most gifted people had their “gifts” activate as the result of a near death experience, a period of intense stress or illness. You can call this insanity if you wish or you can call it expanded consciousness, the choice is always yours. Have you ever wondered what would happen if a master such as Jesus wandered the earth today? I’m certain that he would find himself in a padded room in short order. What of people like Mozart who “hear” music playing in the Universe, that is kind of crazy or it is creativity? You be the judge.
Tony shared his experience with his mother, the one person he felt that he could trust with the fact that he was going crazy. Rather than join him in his fear she shared the story of the vision from the day of Evan’s crossing and encouraged him to call me and discuss the situation. He began to tell the tale of the little spirit boy who had invaded his consciousness. A few minutes into the conversation the little boy began to speak in a very excited rapid manner that only little boys have. They have to share everything at once getting constantly sidetracked by little details. I admonished him silently to slow down and tell me what he wanted me to know. He wanted me to tell his dad who he was and what he was doing now on the other side.
“The little boy is Evan.” I said. Silence filled the line as I could tell Tony was wrestling with thoughts and his emotions. I could feel a lump in his throat that said more than anything he wanted to believe that what I said was true.
“But Evan can’t talk”, he responded.
“Correction”, I said, “Evan couldn’t talk in this life, on the other side he is a perfectly normal little boy.”
“Why did he leave?” the words torn from his throat with all of the pent up anguish.
“It was his time; he only came here for a short period.” I was listening to Evan on the spirit plain while listening to my cousin’s angels at the same time.
“Is he angry that I couldn’t save him?” he asked. I could hear the roaring emotion pushing against the sides of the dam trying to breach the walls.
“You were never meant to save him, he came here for a reason and when the reason was finished it was time for him to leave.” Evan stood there on the spirit plain with his little arms crossed over his chest and a big grin on his face.
“But what was reason?” Tony asked. People always want everything tied up in a neat little package.
“We won’t fully know all of the impacts Evan’s presence will have on the world, but short term it appears that he was here to help you open to your gifts.” I squinted across to Evan to see if I had conveyed his words correctly. Evan opened his palm and waved his hand out in front of him with a flourish as if to say “I want you to experience all of this.”
“What gifts?” Tony asked, his voice tinged with caution.
“For one, you can hear and feel Evan, that is a start, who knows where that will lead?” I could tell I was going to have to take this slowly.
“Evan also wants you to know that he especially likes hot dogs and chocolate ice cream” Evan had started talking fast again.
“They can eat in Heaven?” Tony’s voice sounded incredulous.
“They can do whatever they wish.” Evan was now giggling.
“He also has a message for his grandparents.” I continued. “He said that when ever they want to get a hold of him they can contact him at Evaninheaven.com.” Evan was completely overcome with laughter at his little joke. He knew his grandparents had a penchant for surfing the internet.
Tony’s life changed that day, he stopped taking the anti-depressants and a new peace filled him. He could hear Evan chattering off and on through the day and began having conversations with him about all sorts of things. It turns out that Evan was busy on the other side being his dad’s PR person and soon the extent of Tony’s “gifts” began to reveal themselves.
One day a couple showed up at the house inquiring about their missing son. They had been directed to Tony as the person who could help locate their child. It was quite obvious that the couple had failed to grasp the fact that they were dead. They described they day they were driving in the car and became involved in an accident. They were knocked “unconscious” and when they came to, their son, who was riding in the back seat was gone. Tony tried to reason with the couple, he advised them that they were in fact dead, as was their son and if they would just go into the Light, they would find him waiting there for them.
Tony was new at this “spirit stuff” but he followed his instincts and spent the next several evenings in conversation with the couple. He did manage to get though to the man who finally accepted that he was in fact in the spirit world and he began to try and convince his wife that they had to go into the Light to find their son. All of their combined efforts fell on deaf ears as this mother became more and more desperate to locate her missing son. Tony finally picked up the phone and called for some advice on what to do with this couple.
Tony explained the couple predicament and asked, “How can I convince this woman to move into the Light and trust that her son is really on the other side?”
“When people die suddenly sometimes they fail to grasp the reality shift. While they were “unconscious” they didn’t see the angels come for their son. There is no way to convince a mother to leave the last place she saw her child, there isn’t that much faith in the Universe.” I explained.
“Well I can’t have them handing around my house forever!” he said
“Did you try asking the angels to bring the son to the edge of the Light so that she can see him?” I asked.
“No, it didn’t occur to me that you could do that.” The wonder in his voice revealed the fact that his horizons were indeed broadening.
The conversation ended with a promise that he would call back to let me know how the next chapter of the adventure had unfolded.
The call came the very next day. “So I take it you were successful.” I stated.
“After all of the arguing with this woman, I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get her to cross over.” He said.
“I called upon the angels who had escorted the son home and they brought him right to the edge of a portal of Light.” His voice filled with excitement. “She started to run toward the Light as if nothing could stop her with her husband on her heals.”
“The portal closed shortly after the couple embraced their son and they were gone.” A sort of tired relief sounded in his voice.
“I guess you have found your calling?” I asked, it was more of a question than a statement. I was checking to see if he was okay with this strange twist that his life had taken.
“I think that I have.” He said. “Will it always be this way?” wondering if unexpected visitors would be showing up at his home on a regular basis.
“There really is no way of knowing.” I said, thinking back on all the strange twists and turns my life has taken over the years.
“I just know that once the door is open anything can happen, your gifts just continue to grow and expand as you allow.”
“Well, if it all feels as good as reuniting that family, I think that I am going to like it.” The possibilities were alive in his voice as he spoke.
“It makes all of the bad stuff bearable”, I said. “Even the loss of a child has purpose; we just may not know what that purpose is at the time.”
“You know in a strange way Evan is so much more alive to me now, it’s pretty hard to grieve his passing when he is so present and so happy.”
“Evan is a pretty amazing kid and he seems to be busy on the other side directing spirits who need help to his Dad, so I doubt we have written the last chapter of Evan’s story just yet.” I got goose bumps all over my body as we hung up.